Do. Not. Be. Alarmed!

In just 169 hours and 25 minutes—10,165 minutes from now—a plane will take off from Chicago’s O’Hare airport. Its final destination: London’s Heathrow airport. Its contents: Me.

But I’m not just any “me,” you see...

I’m an American…

An American who is traveling abroad for the purposes of going to school.

Now, you can’t see it but I’m nodding my head empathetically as you groan, because I understand all too well the penchant our people have for being terrible visitors in other countries.

But I’m not like so many of the others, I swear—I don’t believe Reagan, Palin, or Santorum hold the answers (hell, I don’t even think they hold a brain between them); I don’t like the Kardashians or John Wayne; and, I’d rather have my wisdom teeth surgically restored and removed for a second time than go to the Jersey Shore.

And to prove that I’m not like other American tourists, I hereby make this solemn vow to those unknown persons whom I will encounter over the coming months (as well as the US Department of State):

AS AN AMERICAN TRAVELER I WILL NOT…

• Wear anything with the American flag printed on it;
• Remind the Queen or her subjects that we “beat the Red Coats;”
• Speak/laugh loudly and boisterously;
• Tour portrait galleries and say, “But did anything actually important happen here?”
• Put my head under the vestments of Westminster Abbey’s clergy (as I once saw a young French tourist do);
• Refer to non-American ways of doing things as “weird” or “wrong” (including the usage of the letter “u” in words like “colour”);
• Try to hook-up with Pippa (though James Middleton and Prince Harry are fair game!);
• Claim that the American versions of “The Office,” “Prime Suspect,” or any other remake is better, ‘cause let’s face it they’re not…

And, of course, this is just an abbreviated list of promises. There’s more to it, but if I were to type it all out I’d be here all day.

 (Image from "National Lampoons: European Vacation")

Now that all of that business is out of the way, I should probably say something about the reason for my upcoming travels. As I alluded to above, I’m going to London for academic reasons: my home-school (Columbia College) in Chicago, Illinois, has selected me for the study abroad program.  As such—and with the support and encouragement of my wonderful partner who’s staying here in Chi-Town—I’ll be spending the Spring 2012 semester at the University of East London, taking courses through their Cultural Studies program. I won’t say too much more about it now, though, because I’m sure I’ll be flooding this thing with details in the months to come. Instead, I think I will merely draw this post to a close.

  

Until next time, sweetie-darlings!