Morocco: Getting There is Half the Battle!

I should really start blogging about my Moroccan experience, don’t you think? So, here goes…

Technically speaking, my journey began on 7 March 2012. I say this because I woke-up at about 8 AM that morning so that I could start working on some last minute things (like, you know, packing and figuring out how to get to Stansted Airport from where I’m living), and I didn’t go to sleep again until the 9^th. But more on that later...

Nerves prevented even a brief nap prior to heading out for the airport, so that when I arrived at Stansted at about 3:30 AM on the 8^th I was already tired. Nonetheless, I successfully checked-in, passed through security (after being told to throw away my hair gel for security reasons), and worked my way onto the plane for a 6 AM take-off. 

(Yes, I’m one of ‘those’ people who gets to the airport at least two hours prior to a flight—this is, in part, due to a bad experience coming back from Ohio once wherein I almost missed my flight and lost a Whoopie Goldberg action figure while rushing down the concourse…but that’s a story for another time.) 

For the record, sleep did not come on the airplane either. Again, nerves were a factor—but this time there was the added ‘bonus’ of screaming, kicking children in the seat next to me and Ryanair’s insistence on promoting their ‘buy on board’ program over the P.A. system. Whatevs.

At any rate, about 4 hours later the plane was descending toward Marrakech. I was able to snag a few photos of the African landscape before one of the stewards snapped at me to turn the camera off. (I guess I missed the announcement that all electronic devices had to be turned off). Sadly, this means that I was unable to capture the most amazing image that I saw on the way in: the Atlas Mountains stretched out alongside Marrakech. Nonetheless, I love the photos that I was able to get, one of which you can see below:

The Moroccan landscape near Marrakech.

Upon arriving at Menara Airport I breezed through customs, and quickly made the switch from Euros to Moroccan Dirham (DH). Yes, I know you shouldn't convert money at the airport, but it's almost impossible to find someplace that will 'legally' convert to Dirhams in London—

As a quick side-note about the money: I sucked at using it effectively, namely because I was always having to convert prices in my mind into Euros and from there into US Dollars. This shouldn’t have been as complicated for me as it was—especially since 1€ = 10DH—but I was working on very little sleep the entire time! And this was on top of having to haggle over most prices, which I’m equally inept at. So don’t judge me when I start discussing some of my…less advisable financial decisions in a bit.

—At any rate, despite the fact that breezed through the arrival and visa process really quickly, it actually took me about 30 more minutes to work up the nerve to actually leave the airport. 

Yup, you read that right. 

In fact, I was so intimidated at that point by what might happen (I foolishly watched the AbFab ‘Morocco’ episode an hour before leaving for the airport) that I legitimately contemplated never leaving the airport.

What did I do during those 30 minutes you ask? Well, first I walked around the shops. And then I made my way out toward the taxi stand…but chickened out and circled back. Next I found a place to get some food and a map (which I never used). Then, finally, I made a second attempt at getting a cab. This second attempt at grabbing a cab was a bit more successful. 

However, all of the cabs were being coordinated by a single man who, after finding out where I was going, set the price at 200DH (20€; $40). This might not have been a bad price…if I was going more than 6km. Nonetheless, I was tired and lost, and so I agreed. (For the record, I tried to talk the driver down while en route, but to no avail—he wouldn’t go against the other man.)

The ride toward the hostel wasn’t bad. My driver was moderately fluent in English, and was able to point out sites as we drove around, and the contrasting imagery of brown buildings, palm trees, and distant snowcapped mountains was incredible. 

Two things worth noting about the ride, however:

(1) The road was clearly divided between incoming and outgoing traffic…but there weren’t any (visible) sub-divisions, meaning that each side had about three lanes’ worth of traffic (cars, buses, motorbikes, pedestrians, and donkeys with carts) weaving in and out amongst each other. That was a bit disconcerting at first—but I can honestly say that I didn’t see any accidents, and it all somehow worked.

(2) As we pulled up at one of the only stoplights between the airport and my hostel, and the driver was pointing out the wall surrounding the medina quarter (the older, fortified section of Marrakech, in which I was staying), there was a tremendous explosion!

Yes, explosion!

It was so jarring, that the driver and I both dropped in our seats and covered our heads (and probably loosed an explicative or two)…only to realize a moment later that we were stopped next to a construction site using dynamite. Sigh. Some kind of warning would have been nice, but at least it added an interesting side-story to the start my adventure. 

[NB: This is not my photo!]

Following that bit of excitement, it was only a few more minutes until the cab pulled to a stop. Now, we weren’t quite at the hostel yet, but cars are not allowed into the medina because the streets are so narrow and densely packed. 

But, I was prepared for this, and had directions from the hostel telling me how to get there from the drop-off point...

Unfortunately, the cab driver had other ideas, and whistled to a friend of his that was ‘conveniently’ standing not far away.

My driver told the man where I was going, and instructed him to take me there. I was also prepared for this eventuality, though, having read on another traveler’s blog about a similar experience that wound up costing them over 200DH. So, after paying for my cab and grabbing my bag (before the second man could throw it into his cart), I told UnwantedGuide-Man that I was not in need of his services and that I knew where I was going. 

But UnwantedGuide-Man nonetheless took the lead (headed in the direction which I knew I, too, had to go), and kept telling me that his services were free and that he would just show me where to go. No charge. 

(Sounding familiar? Perhaps you’re finding this reminiscent of my experience at the Basilique du Sacré-Cœur? Me too.)

In hindsight, it’s probably good that UnwantedGuide-Man was there, because even with directions I would have probably gotten lost. At the time, however, I was merely annoyed by his presence because I knew where this was leading (in both the actual and metaphorical senses). I kept telling UnwantedGuide-Man that I really didn’t need his services, and that I didn’t have the money to pay him.

‘No, no, no—it’s free! Come, come…’

M'mm-hmmm.

Sure enough, 5 minutes later we were standing before the door of my hostel and he was demanding 200DH. 

Regretfully, the entrance to my hostel was tucked into a very tight, very dark alleyway, and in that moment I was pretty intimidated since there was no one else around, and UnwantedGuide-Man was very physically imposing—also, it was taking forever for someone to answer the hostel’s door. I reminded UnwantedGuide-Man that I didn’t have the money to pay, but he kept pushing. Eventually, I (very reluctantly) parted with 100DH as a means of finally getting rid of him…and of course, the door just so happened to open at that exact moment, too. Funny that.

So, there you have the beginning of Moroccan experience—it gets a lot more fun and a lot less extortiony soon, I promise!

Paris: From Churches to Gay Bars (With a Bit of Bohemia In-Between)

So, in a little over 24 hours I will be boarding a plane for Marrakech, Morocco. Yes, this li’l bird’s going to Africa, courtesy of my amazing and brilliant and thoughtful hubby!

But, this means that I really need to get my butt in gear in terms of finishing up my blog entries about Paris. So, here goes…

19 February (still):

As I left Notre Dame, it was late afternoon—but my time in Paris was limited, and so I hopped on the Paris Metro and made my way north! A short while later, I found myself emerging from the Anvers metro stop, and to my right—atop a steep hill—sat the magnificent Basilique du Sacré-Cœur.

This gorgeous building (the Basilica of the Sacred Heart of Paris) sits atop the butte Montmartre, and offers an unparalleled view of Paris—but I’ll come to that in a moment. First, I have to tell you about my adventure en route from the metro to the hilltop. 

So, it’s almost a completely vertical climb from the street to the top of the butte, and along the way—starting at the basilica’s gates, unfortunately—are small groups of hustlers looking for money, and they stand in tight knots so that you cannot avoid them entirely.

But I’m savvy, right? 

I recognized them right off the bat as hustlers, and wasn’t interested in playing their reindeer games. 

So, as I’m walking by, one of them gets in my face and starts asking if I wanted a trinket to remember my visit. Without stopping, I held up my hand and politely said, “No thanks.”

Well, the problem was that I held up my hand, because as soon as I did so he slipped a loop of red thread over my index finger and tightened it so that I couldn’t pull my hand free. I immediately protested, telling him to take it off and that I wasn’t interested (nor was I paying for what he was trying to sell me—one of those ‘friendship bracelet’ things that we all made in elementary and middle school). But, my new-found friend and kidnapper of my finger wouldn’t budge, and vowed that he would never charge me for something like this, that it was just a gesture of good will, blah blah blah…

Using my own treasonous finger as a weapon against me, the man proceeded to twine the offending red thread with additional white and black threads, making a bracelet which he eventually removed from my finger long enough to affix to my wrist...

And then the cheeky bastard had the nerve to demand 5€ for it!

I laughed in his face, told him he was dreaming, and chucked him a penny (I figured that was even more offensive than not giving anything) as I pushed past him. 

Suffice to say, he was not thrilled. But neither was I.

Then, not fifteen feet away, another one from the same group accosted me. This time I kept my hands in my pocket as I scoffed and said that I had already been caught by one of his other con-artists friends and that I wasn’t about to be caught again. 

Unfortunately (again), this one wouldn’t take no for an answer—he physically grabbed me by the forearm as he still (ostensibly politely) told me that I should stay and talk with him. I promptly took out both hands, gave him a mighty shove, and told him to bugger off. (And then I ran the rest of the way up the hill, where I was finally safe.)

So, now that I’m safe, I can tell you about the view. 

Truly, the vista from the Basilique du Sacré-Cœur was even more incredible than the one from the Eiffel Tower (which I’ll discuss in a later entry). The only thing you couldn’t really see properly was the Eiffel Tower itself—it was there, of course, just blocked by some trees.

Playing with the panoramic setting...

The bad hair day continues...

Peek-A-Boo...I see you!

After leaving this magnificent building, I headed slightly west and deeper into Montmartre. Now, let me just take a moment to talk about this amazing district. In many ways, my all-too-brief time spent here was my favorite part of the French excursion. 

Beginning in the late 1800s, the area became a favorite for party-goers and artists. At various times Montmartre has played host to nightclubs like the (in)famous Moulin Rouge and artists such as van Gogh and Picasso. And I can tell you that its role has not changed much in the subsequent years: the Moulin Rouge still stands, and (according to the owner of my hostel) it is still possible for starving, homeless artists to find temporary and free lodging within the district’s limits.

I was never able to find any proof of it, but I’d also like to think—and to a certain degree I simply feel as if—one of my favorite musical artists, the legendary Eartha Kitt, was a frequent visitor to Montmartre during her European 'exile' years. This fantasy is (falsely) bolstered by one of my favorite songs of hers, ‘Everything Changes’ from the much-maligned Mimi Le Duck. 

One of my favorite lines within that song goes, ‘One time at Montmartre / I drank gin with Sartre”...

So, in honor of Eartha Kitt’s character’s drink with Sartre—and for all of the talented men and women (known and unknown) who have called this stunning area ‘home’ over the years—I settled down to enjoy a glass of wine (I don’t do gin). 

I did so in a lovely little square called the Place du Tertre, at an equally charming, friendly restaurant called Chez la Mère Catherine, surrounded by paintings undoubtedly meant to attract the eye of unsuspecting tourists. (In fact, I was reminded of the scene from that old episode of I Love Lucy where Lucy, Ricky, and the Mertzes all wind up buying the replicas of the same painting from a ‘street artist’ who sells them to the foolish American tourists.)

I love the random older woman (who looks a bit like my paternal grandmother) who's totally crashed the photo!

As I mentioned earlier, in many regards this was the highlight of my trip. The air was both relaxed and excited in the same moment, and the people—from my server, to the manager (who made a special trip out to see how I was doing), to the couple at the table next to me—were all so friendly! Similarly, the weather was perfect. Sitting outside and drinking wine, all while surrounded by lovely old buildings and attractive paintings…it was tres magnifique!

Sadly, I knew I had to leave Chez la Mère Catherine eventually, and so with a heavy heart I settled the bill and was on my way once more. With help from a local business owner, I found my way along winding, twisting streets (passing, as it happens, the actual Café des 2 Moulins, where the title-character in the film Amélie worked—unfortunately, I didn’t find that out until it was too late, so no pictures).

After losing myself once or twice, I finally found myself standing before the famous windmill belonging to the Moulin Rouge:

She let me know they were 'bout the cake, straight out th' gate!

Now, I’d love to say that I got tickets to see a show at the Moulin Rouge…but tickets were between 100-200€. No way was I paying that much to see a bunch of scantily clad women. (Hell, I’m not even that keen on seeing that sight for free!) So, instead, I just snapped a photo or two and was then on my way again…

I wasn’t sure where to head next—the other big things on my list were going to happen the next day—so I just started walking.

And walking.

And walking.

A little over 3 miles later, I found myself (at dark) standing in front of Notre Dame—by way of the Louvre—once more. Circle complete.

And, since I was near le Marais once more, I decided to stop and have a drink (or two) amongst mes collègues hommes gais. But since I hadn’t eaten recently I got some food at Caffe Vito first—foolishly accepting Nic’s encouragement to order the steak tartare. Don’t get me wrong, if it was just the raw meat I would have been fine…but, I swear, it was the onions and green peppers(?) that did me in! Why people insist on putting those damnable things in everything is beyond me! 

(Ah well, at least the waiter was hot—oh-so-hot: slim, tight gray jeans, early- to mid-twenties, with curly dark hair, green eyes, and just the tiniest patch of black chest hair peeking through his low-cut white shirt!—and so was the guy at the table across from me, who kept eying me flirtatiously and ordering extra items while I struggled to eat my own dinner...not that I noticed either of them of course.)

So, with my belly (more or less) full, I circled the area a couple of times, trying to decide which bar I was going to work my nerve up to entering… In the end, I hit-up three of them (shockingly, each one was easier to enter after an additional drink): The Tropic Cafe, L’Open Cafe, and eventually Raidd Bar (which, I swear, was not nearly as scandalous and seedy when I was there as their website makes it seem…then again, I never went downstairs!).

Thus (finally) concludes my first full day in Paris.

*Whew*